Reflections on the Red Dress Collection Concert at Jazz at Lincoln Center, Part 1

One of the amazing opportunities we were given as class survivors was attending the Red Dress Collection concert at Jazz at Lincoln Center on January 30. It's taken me a few days to process everything, not because of the physical toll, but more the mental exhaustion. I tried my best to honor my body’s needs those days in NYC, but the environment was full of stimulation. The crowds, the sound, and the implicit pressure to be “on” felt overwhelming at times. I definitely felt an obligation to be present and do my best to engage, but it wasn’t always easy.

The trip into NYC on Wednesday took an unexpected twist when I was invited to participate in a radio show out on Long Island—a great opportunity put together by the local AHA team. The conversation lasted an hour, but the almost two hours of traffic on the way back were definitely draining, and I knew I had a long evening ahead. That evening, we had a welcome reception at Manolo Blahnik on Madison Avenue, which was lovely. It was an intimate event where we were incognito, blending in until we gathered for a group photo. I enjoyed watching the other women strut their stuff in high heels, but for me, it felt a bit like I was on the outside. I wear boots or sneakers to fancier events because that’s what my body can handle. I can’t feel the bottom of my left foot, and I need stability around my ankle—so high heels are not my thing. But that’s okay; it’s my reality, and I’m okay with it.

From there we attended the Impact with Heart event at the Ailey Studios. As soon as we arrived, I could tell it wasn’t the right environment for me—too much sensory overload. The music, which sounded rich and deep was too intense for me. I could feel the energy, but it didn’t feel right for my body. So, another survivor and I decided to leave and head back to the hotel, making a quick stop for pizza on the way. I was thrilled when she agreed to split a white pizza with me—I hadn’t had one in years, and used to love it, but not so much anymore. It was a small moment of calm in the midst of a busy day...  stay tuned for Part 2 of this post.